The Three Modes of Conversation

No two conversations are exactly alike, but there are different patterns to conversations you can observe. Being aware of these patterns, and having skill navigating them, you’re more likely to have the kinds of conversations you’d like to be having. Over time, you’ll cultivate more fulfilling relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and intimate partners. These three modes of conversation are a roadmap to assist you in doing exactly that.

Sometimes, a conversation is practical as we seek to exchange information or complete a task. This is an example of the informational mode. At other times, a conversation is personal, where we share in the warmth of human connection. This is an example of the personal or emotional mode.

For many, these two modes cover most conversations — informational on one hand, and the personal or emotional on the other.

The third mode is the relational. These conversations address something about our relationship or interaction. Skill at relational conversations is a key indicator of relational intelligence.

Your relational intelligence is how you will have more of the connections you want. It’s how you’ll have a greater impact on others. With mastery of the three modes, you’ll cultivate extraordinary relationships everywhere you go.

First, notice the mode of conversation. Then, notice how your experience lines up with your intentions. From there, you’ll be able to better guide the conversation. Doing this will unleash…